Goblins

Goblins are little green people who are always getting into "mischief".

Description

Who in their right mind would wish to be a goblin when they could be an orc? Please skip this section and proceed on to the orc section. Everyone knows orcs are more than several degrees better in every way than wimpy goblins. Goblins are fools. They think that by living among humans they can acquire wealth, protection, and education. Weaklings! Sure, the humans don't kill off the goblins nearly as much as the orcs do, but come on, at least with the orcs they can participate in battles and are usually allowed honorable positions at the head of the army. And the orcs always pay great attention to the goblins; with the humans, they're always ignored and left to have to do everything themselves.

In the good old days, goblins were much truer to form. They'd live in the woods and hills under the benevolent guidance of orcs or the occasional ogre, but today they're more often found in human cities doing chores for humans, carting garbage, cleaning sewage, even being barbers! Nowadays most goblins have given up the ways of the warrior and rarely lift their weapons to fight for their freedom, relying all too naively on the human legal system. Fortunately the race is not entirely lost, a few have kept to their ancestral ways and employ themselves as protectors of the people or serve as security troubleshooters for the humans, often doing this without even being asked! More goblins have been getting involved in the study of magic right under the nose of the humans, something that us orcs can't condone but must applaud for its bravery and audacity. And, well, everyone knows goblin men are the best hung of any of the humanoid races ('cepting trolls, of course.)

Goblin women... Ah... Three times the size of a male and lusty as any orc woman, the average goblin woman bears upwards of 20 children, 90% of whom are male.